4. Unbalanced Living
One of my wife's hesitations to planting PCC was that it would totally consume me and my time. She knows that I'm a recovering work-aholic and that it's very easy for me to skip my days off, stay late at the office, live my life with a cell phone attached to my ear, and just be totally preoccupied with ministry.
Early on in the life of the church, I was working 70+ work weeks and never taking a sabbath. No one can keep that kind of schedule and survive. In fact, one pastor told me that if I don't take a break from my schedule, my schedule would break me. He was right.
I can recall vividly one Christmas two years ago when I had a mini-meltdown backstage right before I had to go out and preach. We were 2 years into the church plant and we literally worked night and day to get it off the ground and my brain and my body pretty much shut down. I knew it was time for a change.
So, here's a few commitments that my wife and I made to maintain joy and longevity in our marriage and ministry.
1. Divert daily.
We make time for our relationship with God and with each other and our kids every day. We eat at least 4 or 5 dinners together each week as a family. I never walk in the door in the evening talking with someone on my cell phone about church ministry. We have devotional time in the evening with our kids before the go to bed.
2. Withdrawal weekly.
Every week we take a day off. That's called a sabbath - a 24 hour period where we do nothing but hang out with each other and with God. Some days we go to the mall or I take my little girl out for breakfast. And some days we just cuddle up on the couch as a family and watch Barney and Friends. The point is: take a break from life and ministry and just practice the power of being in one anothers presence.
3. Abandon annually.
This means several things.
First - a nice family vacation. We sacrifice so much of ourselves by investing in the lives of others that we need to get away once a year and enjoy some extended family time. This summer we are going to the shore!
Second, it also means time for me and Bekah to get away - just the two of us. Let's fact it - going away with the kids isn't always a "vacation." Husbands and wives need to get away at least once a year and spend time cultivating their marriage.
Last of all, I need to get away by myself a few different times a year to: pray (annual prayer retreat), to seek God's direction for the coming year as it relates to the spiritual direction, sermon series, etc., and attend conferences or training to keep on the cutting edge of effective ministry.
The larger a church grows, the more time the senior pastor needs to get away. I thank God for our Elders and church family who understand this and who want me to be around for a long time and not burn out. I learned the hard way that if you burn the candle at both ends, you'll soon discover that you aren't as bright as you think you are.
